best thing i heard all day:

"i think if i see pinder again, i should wear really high fuck me heels, an eensy weensy skirt, lots of cleavage and whore lipstick, then blatantly and flagrantly throw myself at him"

yes. yes you should.

i just ordered these shoes:

bring it on Go Go

now i just need to order the jumpsuit

Update: I got my shoes!

The soles on them are so thin, it feels like walking around in yellow booties. If you step on a rock, you can feel it. Otherwise they're comfortable.

toxic 9
(2 images stitched together)

stuff thats not really worth mentioning because it's probably not all that interesting to anyone anywhere other than that being nice "oh, thats kinda neat... i guess" type way, but will mention anyway because your life is devoid and i have voice that is clear and loud and you will swallow the facade because you are so eager to identify with someone who can tell you things that you already know so you can say "i really identify with you so much":

- during the women's World Cup Canada vs. Sweden game, a graphic came up for one of the Canadian girls and she was from the same hometown as me and I said "hey, thats my hometown!"

- sometimes i'll say things where i throw in lines from Tool and Henry Rollins mixed in with my own postulations and most people are none the wiser.

- i made a mix today called "danse! punk!" and it's really good

- in the song "The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret" by Queens of the Stone Age, there's a line that goes "cut you in? i just cut you out". i smile every single time i hear it.

- i saw a guy in a wheelchair listening to one of those yellow Sony Sport discmans. i thought it was funny.

- in Outkast, i always thought Andre 3000 was Big Boi and that Big Boi was Andre 3000. but they're not.

- i used the phrase "anti-fundamental pinderloutionism" today

i tend to make up a lot of names for girls. i call one "toots", and another "jiggles", and another girl "you sexy, sexy bitch". but i do it in a deliciously coy way so that they giggle and cover their mouth and go "oh you". you have to tell them that they have the exclusive on "jiggles", and that you wouldn't dare call anyone else that. it makes them feel special.

you should always do whatever you can get away with.

so i'm leaving work today, in a good mood and singing my song of the moment: Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl. i walk out the front door and down the hallway, in my head singing:

so one, two, three
tell me how to count to three
because you look so fine
and i really wanna make you mine.

this song really rocks, so i start singing out loud:

oh four, five, six
c'mon and get your kicks

i open the door to the stairwell with a push and a kick right at "kicks" because i'm so fucking cool like that.

now you don't need that money...

this is when i realize i'm not alone. there's a woman coming down the stairs. it happened quickly, and i was too much in my groove to stop myself, but i continue singing:

with a face like that, do ya honey?

i think i only made eye contact for the "do ya honey?" part.

sometimes i just get tired of staring at my site, in which case i'll stare at this instead.