my boss: i'm going on a new diet.
me: it's not that south beach diet is it? did you go get a brazillian wax?

i saw A Perfect Circle last night at the Vogue. the pleasant surprise of the evening was that Pigmy Love Circus opened, which is Tool drummer Danny Carey's sideband. so not only did i get to see Maynard, but Danny drumming as well. buzz.

it's funny seeing everyone wearing TOOL and other band t-shirts at the show. i was picturing them looking in their closet earlier that day going "yeah, everyone would think i'm cool in this Marilyn Manson t-shirt". the only one i thought was cool was the guy in the Fantomas t-shirt. for the record, i do have band t-shirts, but i wouldn't wear one to a show. even my TOOL Preseminal European 2001 Tour t-shirt. :)

APC played a lot of new songs, and the new album out Sept. 16 should be killer. the band was lit from the back the entire show, so you only really saw each person's silhouette. there was a large olympic-medal-like stage podium setup, with James Iha at Bronze, the drummer Josh Freese at Silver, and Maynard of course at Gold. Billy Howardell and Twiggy Ramirez were in the front. Twiggy lost the goth from his Manson days; he looked pretty normal. I think he goes by his real name too now, I think it's Rupert or Hubert or something. not only is Maynard the best singer in rock, he's also the best dancer in rock. it's like a crab wearing a wig instead of an exoskeleton.

"Judith" was of course the last song. it has much more fury live than the recorded version. after the song the lights went up and i left while everyone was still cheering hoping for an encore. don't they know Maynard doesn't do encores.

if you know me, then you've no doubt heard me go on and on about these shoes. they are the greatest shoes ever. girls have been right all along, shoes do make you feel better. when i first got them last year, i'd walk up to coworkers and force them to gaze up on their brilliance and luster. i'd say "have you ever seen cooler shoes before? allow me to answer for you... No, you haven't". Or walking down the street at lunch, i'd point at other people's shoes and remark how their shoes pale in comparison to mine.

but they're starting to wear out. i have worn them practically everyday. they're a little scuffed, some threads are sticking out, and even the soles inside are wearing down. my poor, poor diesels.

i had been looking around at shoe stores, trying to find another exact same pair because they're probably on clearance cause the new line of diesels just came out. but no luck. then on the weekend, while at a shoe store, i was telling a friend this story. he looks down at the clearance rack we were standing by, and there they were. my diesels. in size 12. i think i heard angels singing.

me: "can i get these?"
sales girl: "would you like to try them on?"
me: "nope."

so now i have a brand new pair of these shoes in a box in my closet. i left those "do not eat" gel pack things in there, so they'll be fresh for the day they get the call.

i saw the bouncing souls last night. my bouncing souls. i went alone and wouldn't have it any other way.

i'm on the outside looking in
that's where my story begins
took the pain of growing up
and i will walk on through
this is how i'm showing up but
i feel great!
how bout you?

Black Eye EP:

Millencolin - Black Eye
Placebo - Black Eyed
Bad Astronaut - Killers and Liars
...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead - Gargoyle Waiting

***

The Songs For a Funeral EP:

TOOL - Eulogy
Sparklehorse - Eye Pennies
Dandy Warhols - Sleep
Pennywise - Bro Hymn
Lagwagon - Owen Meany
Van Morrison - Slim Slow Slider
Stone Roses - Breaking Into Heaven

***

i hope someone plays TOOL - Eulogy at my funeral. people can sit stone-faced as maynard asks:

Will you now?
Would you die for me?
Don't you fuckin' lie

its all so perfect: my favourite band, my funeral, my eulogy, my morbidness, my sense of humour.

i had Kokanee a few weeks ago, and wow, it actually tasted pretty good. i told a few friends recently about it and they had the same experience. i must be getting older, cause before it tasted like whatever the sound blech! tastes like.

*cue Daniel Stern's voice, a la Wonder Years*

me? liking Kokanee? was i serious? i didn't realize it at the time, but a little piece of my childhood had slipped away, forever.

***

i talked about Sloan in the last post and Kokanee in this one, both things very much Canadian. some upcoming topics: polar bears make good pets; poutine: heartattack in a bowl; 'its pop, not soda'; imperialism or sexism: which is funner?, 'no really, my american girlfriend does exist'; and my feature length essay 'the only thing i hate more than people who are intolerant of other people's cultures are those Newfies'

Sloan could be a great band. really. they were doing that Strokes type sound that was so popular with the trucker-hat kids last year back in 1996 with "Good in Everyone" from One Chord to Another. One Chord to Another is my favourite Sloan album. but i haven't really liked any other one since. sure they've had some good singles off each with "If It Feels Good Do It" from Pretty Together, "Losing California" from Between the Bridges, and "Money City Maniacs" from Navy Blues. but as an album, they all fell short. i still don't know what was up with those songs that sounded like KISS on Pretty Together?! what the fuck?!

but with that said, i always give Sloan a chance. because as i said, i still think they could be a great band. and they always have great album covers:

their new song "The Rest of My Life" from Action Pact is good. i just hope the rest of the album is too.

chud says: plus the icons are mute point
pinder says: *grammer police* isn't it moot point?
chud says: grammar
chud says: not as effective when the grammar police spell their name wrong

***

sometimes its funnier when being clever backfires on you.

if hasn't already been done so, i officially declare handle bar mustaches as in. although by officially declaring them as hot increases the chances of it being not sooner. but right now, they're cool. Jason Patric had a good one in Narc. plus the two cops in that gum commercial have pretty good ones.

i really want to grow a handle bar mustache. i'd wear aviator sunglasses with my handle bar mustache. then i'd walk down the street and give everyone the finger.

what would you do if a guy with a handle bar mustache and aviator glasses gave you the finger? that's right, you'd say thanks!

i had a dream i was Marilyn Manson, and i was filming the video for "This is the New Shit" from his latest album Golden Age of Grotesque and Rod Stewart and Sting were my backup singers. we were singing while racing on motorbikes on a field of long yellow grass and broken green glass. i remember looking back and noticing that Rod Stewart was much better at singing the "babble babble bitch bitch / rebel, rebel, party, party" lines than Sting. Rod Stewart was really into it! the video ended when we got to a hill and Rod Stewart and Sting got off and walked their bikes up and i went on to win the race.

if you think thats weird, whats weirder is that i think i've had this dream 2 or 3 times before.

for now, i have turned toxicmetropolis.com into a daily photo links site, where i highlight photos from various sites i like, with or without commentary. i'll eventually post photos there, but MT won't work for it, so i'll have to write something custome. however, you can still see some of my own photos at my fotolog. i update it everyday.

***

i ordered the lomo smena. damn it looks cool. it arrives next week. its got a 3 month warranty, which means it'll probably break down in 4 months.

this is me watching Two Towers DVD in my home theatre, for my Oscar consideration.