when i was a kid i had a bun. not a turban, just really long hair tied up as a bun on top of my head. my parents thought it would be cute to keep a bun on their youngest and i gotta say, i was pretty damn cute in my bun. i don't remember much about having it though. my most vivid memory was when a friend put dirt in my hair and i went completely ape shit. i hated him for the longest time and would clench my fists anytime someone even said his name. now he's the only person i talk to from my hometown. eventually my parents decided to cut my hair before i went to kindergarten. i think my mom still has my baby hair in a bag somewhere. she kept it because of its illustrious shine and silky smoothness.

the haircut for most of elementary school was short, parted on the side, not the middle. the side part looked less lame then one on the middle.

the hair stayed pretty much the same till about grade 7. that's when i grew a mullet. you're probably laughing, but mullets were the coolest thing since sliced bread (sliced bread having been invented the summer before). i loved my mullet. if i pulled it down on the sides, i could touch each end right under my chin. that was the litmus test for optimal mullet length. the mullet only lasted a year because the following year i found a cup-and-ball game that made me completely forget about my hair (man, you never know which way that crazy ball was going to go!).

grade 11 and 12 i grew my hair long again. i was a punk rocker. i was listening to Operation Ivy and Green Day now, not the gangsta rap of junior high. it was long on top but not along the sides. i hate having hair on the side of my head touching my ear. the top was long and combed completely back. if i didn't have gel in, it fell straight and limp to the sides. after graduation the hair was gone. but the punk never left.

when i came to vancouver to go to university, a friend took me out "to do something about my hair". i went to see a "stylist" who massaged my head and charged me $50. the "new hair style" i got that day did away with parting my hair on the side and did away with combs. i could now comb my hair forward with my fingers and some gel. apparently some guy with no spine who used to be an extra on Roseanne and was now on some Doctor show (i think it was called The Show With Doctors In It) started this craze. either way, i liked it.

and that's pretty much what it's like now. not specifically combed forward, more like pointed in that direction and just sitting there. short. low maintenance. in the mornings i wet my hair, rub some gel and run my fingers once or twice through my hair. done.

oh, and it's still more illustrious than a thousand kings and virtually brimming with silky smoothness.

didn't Jesus need Judas Iscariot to betray him?

didn't Jesus know he would betray him?

didn't God tell Jesus he would have to die a martyr?

if Jesus saw God, didn't he also see the Devil? because doesn't everything that concerns God, also concern the Devil?

and by spreading God's word, wasn't Jesus indirectly increasing the Devil's territory?

didn't Jesus need to die for your sins as an innocent man?

if Jesus didn't die on a cross, but instead in a rocking chair in a retirement home, what symbol would Christians worship in churches? Jesus in a rocking chair?

if Jesus needed Judas, and if Judas repented, why was he not forgiven? why is he still seen as a betrayer? Jesus needed him! don't ideas need to evolve?

i can't hold a grudge.

***

these are some of the things i was thinking about while on my morning run. and then i saw some wild rabbits and started chasing them.

"im gonna eat ya! get in mah belly!"

Observations from Game 7

• the crowd's singing of the national anthem was so loud that i couldn't even hear the singer.
• the single seat was no big deal. i ended up talking to the 2 guys sitting next to me the whole night.
• i had a great seat right behind the canuck's goal.
• white towels cost $3. i think the first 5000 got them free though.
• you gotta pick the right moment and right grip when you want to wave your towel, otherwise you'll hit the guy next to you in the face. and are you supposed to go clockwise or counter-clockwise? i didn't see any specific instructions. i was going counter-clockwise.
• i bought a program too because i wanted to get rid of the change in my pocket. it sucked and i didn't even read it. i threw it under my seat and it was gone by the time i got back to my seat after the 2nd intermission.
• right when i was about to yell "cycle!" some guy 2 rows behind me started screaming it.
• and did you see that Sedin twins cycle the puck for the first goal?!
• i drank alcohol in my no-alcohol seat. i think the guy at the end of aisle made a face at me, but he can fuck off because it was game 7.
• i could see Naslund's face clearly when he scored his goal. don't see that in the nosebleeds!
• 18,000+ people singing the Bouncing Souls' version of Ole! makes me smile.
• didn't i tell you Linden was a playoff warrior? i did.
• i had been waiting for a short-handed goal all series.
• the crowd was standing and screaming for the entire last 5 minutes of the game.
• i pretended i hated the Leafs because it's cool to hate the Leafs. really, i don't mind them so much. they coulda eliminated some more American teams before they lost to Ottawa.
• Al MacInnis lost the Blues the game.
• Cloutier shoulda still been the first star.
• i only took a few photos, and they kinda sucked. i wasn't bothering with photos.
• i didn't have to tell the kid in front of me that "the Canucks lost because Daddy drinks".
• what? no riot? i'm ashamed of you Vancouver!
• well, there were streakers on Dunsmir St. afterwards.

Ye and God said to Abraham 'You will kill your son Isaac'.

And Abraham said 'I can't hear you you will have to speak into the microphone'.

And God said "Oh I'm sorry is this better? Check check check. Jerry pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."

- Stewie's eulogy for Brian's mother, Family Guy.

so i have a single ticket for tonight's Canucks vs. Blues Game 7. when tickets went on sale, i tried for 45 minutes trying to get any combination of tickets for any of the games. when i finally got through, it was for a single seat for game 7. by that time i was so frustrated that i said "fuck it! i'm getting it!" with the point being i'd sell it later. but now on game day, i think i'll go by myself to the game. even though the Dallas/Edmonton or even the Toronto/Philly games have been way more exciting, c'mon, it's game 7! plus the seat is lower bowl, behind the net, row 16, so it should be a good view.

so who ever's sitting next to me, they'll be forced to hear me say the following lines *everytime* the following players touch the puck:

Trent Klatt - "Trent Klatt's a hard worker. He works hard."
Trevor Linden - "Linden's a playoff warrior!"
Todd Bertuzzi - "Shoot Tard Bartuzzi! Way to miss the net Tard!"
Brent Sopel - "Get a haircut you damn dirty hippie! And stop chewing on that mouthpiece"
Sedin twins - "Cycle! Cycle it!"

my favourite sports cliche from the playoffs thus far has come from the CBC color commentator during a recent Dallas/Edmonton game where Edmonton was coming from behind:

"Edmonton's got a new player on the team. His name is Moe. Moe Mentum!"

that's pure gold.

and for those accusing me of jumping on the bandwagon, yes. that's exactly what i'm doing. i'm too cyncial to be a true sports fan. but don't think you're better than me, because i probably know at least as much, or more about hockey than you. hello?! champion of the universe over here! i know something about everything!

you know that either

a.) you like your job, or
b.) you have a problem

when first thing Monday morning, you have to clean your two coffee mugs and your shot glass.

i always listen to this album on Easter long weekend.

a brief pseudonym history

• pjohal (1994-1995)
  when this whole Internet thing began, i wasn't really concerned with a clever nickname. i was only interested in nude pictures of celebrities and fashion models. oh Cindy Crawford, you showed me the wonder of the internet. too bad you're completely washed up now.
• pimpbot (1996 - briefly)
  this is what i initially used when i started on IRC. those of you who are particularly astute will know that the name comes from a character on one of the best shows on TV, Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Pimpbot 5000 combines the classic sensibilities of a 1950's robot with the dynamic flare of a 1970's street pimp, just like me! the name didn't last long because most ops would consider it "offensive" and would kick/ban me.
• ebin (1996 - never used)
  while trying to come up with a new name, i had considered using ebin. which is weird since thats what eric@supafamous occasionally uses, but his comes from real name. mine came from the Sublime song "Ebin". i ultimately decided against it since "It's plain to see, my friend Ebin is a Nazi!"
• deftone (1996 - 2000)
  i needed a handle to use. i was listening to Deftones at the time. i typed in "/nick Deftone" in IRC. i haven't been listening to Deftones as much lately. their first 2 albums were solid, last one was a bit too "avant garde", except for the track they do with Maynard, which gives me goosebumps.
• pinder 2000 - present)
  right when i registered deftone.com, i just started using my name instead. i don't really care for deftone as pseudonym much anymore, but still like it as a domain name!

since i'm a superstar designer now, i get to wear black turtle necks and carry a messenger bag. i still need to get some loafers and linen pants. and since my designs have "sex appeal", i'll get to have the title "sexifier" on my business card. and when Photoshop is open, i say things like "yeah thats it, work it bitch! yes! yes! NO! NO!"

in meetings i'll offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors and only speak to say "don't stifle me asshole! did you just look me in the eye? fuck it! i'm going home! i can't work under these sub-standard conditions"

i ran the 10K Vancouver Sun Run today. well, me and 49,000+ other people. i kept a slow and steady pace, running the whole way and finishing in 68mins.

i made the perfect running mix on my ipod quite. just the right songs would come on right when i needed them. if you saw someone doing air-drums while running, that was me listening to Trail of Dead. if you saw someone suddenly break out into a huge grin while increasing his pace 3 times, that was me listening to Bouncing Souls. if you saw someone who looked like he was bouncing more than running, that was me running in rythm to the beat in "No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age. if you heard someone say "All you fucking pigs! March!" louder than he should have, then that was also me singing "March of the Pigs" by Nine Inch Nails.

and since i had headphones on, i didn't have to listen to all those people on the side cheering and clapping everyone saying things like "you're all winners!". i hate those people! i made it a point to say "you're all winners" to them. that'll teach you to make eye contact with me.

i didn't really get the "runner's high" after the race, probably because of all the fucking people getting in my way. although i have had that while training alone. it's especially nice on mornings when you see the sun break over the hill, casting a shade of orange on the pond while wild rabbits scurry away from your approaching steps. at least the run was much easier than last year, when i had crappy shoes and hardly any road training. this year i trained for 13 weeks and by the end, running 10K was a breeze. i recommend the program to anyone who's looking to get into running. if i can do it, then you could probably do it. you're all winners!

except for you, you, and you in the back.