and if it gets jammed, i'll slam my hand down on the desk, "blast! continue the research"
there's just something so satisfying about a shredder.
i'm not sure how it all came about. i think a team of scientists in white lab coats were dispatched to measure my sluttiness while i was sleeping. nonetheless, the authenticity of my sluttitude was verified and i was awarded the designation.
being a slut is one thing, but to have a distinguished member of the internet community such as Google stand up and say "yes, you sir, are a slut. so slutty in fact that you shall be named our 'slut of the day'". let me tell you, it's very special feeling.
Well, almost.
MTV News: Former Guns N' Roses Members Form Band, Don't Rule Out Courtney Love As Singer
I sincerly hope that Courtney Cunt as lead singer talk was just something the writer made up. Bitch, go make bad movies now, you already ruined rock n roll once.
Otherwise, a Slash, Duff McKagan, Izzy Stradlin, and Matt Sorum band would be really cool now. Rock has lost its nutsack lately. And it needs some Slash riffs to get it back! Hopfeully, this project would be better than the dreadful Slash's Snakepit albums though. Izzy is back tentatively and that is at least a good sign. (He wrote one my favourite GNR songs: Double Talkin Jive Motherfucker)
Oh, and regarding the riot, Slash pretty much sums up what i said,
"Nothing surprises me. When he really has all his shit together, Axl is brilliant, so it'll be happening. It just takes him a while to get around to it. As far as showing up to gigs? That's all par for the course. We've all seen that movie. What better way to kick off a Guns N' Roses tour than to miss the first gig?"
almost as bad as when good bloggers get puppies is when sad bloggers become happy.
fucking happiness. i mean yay happiness! what else is there to look forward to?
he was out paddling alone one day, relaxing after what was no doubt, a night of debauchery and sin, when he found a small passage among the icebergs. there he found a beautiful fjord so blue and so tranquil, all of which was very soothing to a slut.
but a slut is still a slut. and there's only so many slutty things a slut can do alone in a tiny boat in a fjord. but when he tried to paddle his way out of the fjord, he quickly found the current pulling him back in. the current was finally defeated on the third day, for a slut's will is strong, especially when a night of sick, twisted, godless sexing awaits.
the next day, without fail, the slut found himself out on the sea and back into the same fjord. and each time he tried to leave again, the current got stronger and it got harder to leave the fjord.
so now the slut finds that, even though he still has his slutty urges, he can't fight the current any more. he'll lose. gone are the nights of wistless indecency, replaced with days of blue, shear icebergs. but he doesn't mind as much as he once did. he likes this fjord of his. he gets slutty satisfaction in just mouthing the word "fjord".
but now comes the identity crisis of pornographic complexity. is he still a slut if he's always alone in a fjord?
man on the street reporter voice:
What started as a traditional guns n roses riot escalated into a city-wide orgy of mayhem as fans showed that they really do have an 'appetite for destruction'. Looking around in what used to be a 'paradise city', and as this 'cold november rain' falls, I can't help but think, 'all we need is just a little patience'.What's funny is i completely called this yesterday! It's the tour opener and word was that the band had been practicing the day before without Axl. I had a feeling that Axl would cancel or come down with that terrible affliction that's been going around in the rock community that only hits bands when they cross the border into canada: Throat Lock. Creed (thankfully) had a nasty case of Throat Lock last year and cancelled their Vancouver show at the last minute. But Creed fans don't riot. Can you imagine Ned Flanders rioting? I can't either. They probably just said "it's God's will" and walked home.
Anyways, back from the tangent, a Guns N Roses spokesman said poor weather conditions at Los Angeles airport made it impossible for Axl's plane to fly. Poor weather conditions in LA? I thought the only weather in LA was hot and sunny. Aren't they all lizards out there?
I think Axl was sitting around in his underwear eating Doritos while shooting bullets at the TV going "fuck it. fuck vancouver." and ordered up a private stripper and spent the rest of the night snorting cocaine off her tits.
We got there after the cops had at least some semblance of crowd control. Windows had already been smashed, people had already been clubbed. So we stood around and watched. We were semi-drunk, so it was fun. When cops came our way, we just turned around and started walking, and stopped when they stopped. They were trying to disperse the crowd, one cop even told a homeless guy to "go home".
A lot of people were pissed off. Some yelling "fuck you Axl!", some proclaiming they'd never listen to GNR again.
Those people are morons.
He's Axl. This is the kind of thing he does. There are no more angry, reclusive rock stars left. Only Axl. Of course he has no respect for his fans. I already know that. Does that make songs like "Welcome to the Jungle" or "Mr. Brownstone" any worse? Of course not!
Cancelling a concert is so fucking rock n roll.
— "Feel Good Hit of the Summer" by Queens of the Stone Age
two line song:
— "Nietzsche" by Dandy Warhols
three line song:
I wanna be adored.
— "I Wanna Be Adored" by Stone Roses
