the following is a rough list of topics or items that will be in the novel that i am not writing:

trains, demons, ginseng fields, delivery of a letter, falling out of moving cars, tar, religious zealots and heathens, agents, doorless empty rooms, polygons, typographic symbols with ligature, a hero without meaning, a girls who sprouts black wings, and of course, lots of violence, coarse language and fucking.

if someone in a halloween costume asks you today "what are you dressed up as?" this is what you do:

act startled and say "oh my! i almost forgot! let me get my costume" and reach into your bag and pretend to dig for your costume. if you do not have a bag or purse, a pocket will suffice although the effect won't be as dramatic. if you do not have a bag or pocket, you're an idiot. do people really walk around pocketless and bagless? who are these people? how do you carry stuff?

anyways, feign diligence for your search and say things like "i can't believe i forgot, thanks for reminding me" and "oh, almost got it..." and "not quite...there, oh no, there".

finally, exclaim "got it!" at which point you remove your hand from your bag or pocket and smack the costumed person upside the head.

if you don't want to go for the violent approach, you can be like Ricky and pull out your middle finger for the big FUCK YOU!

bye for now.

didn't mean to let you down.

anytime somebody asks me for a name suggestion, i tend to blurt out "Francis!". this is usually followed by an awkward pause where i can see their faces mentally processing either Francis through their name algorithm, or me through their what-the-fuck-did-he-just-say? alogorithm. they'll look up and to the left if they're processing the name. they'll look straight at me if they're processing me. either way, the results are always simply, "no."

the next time i have something that requires a name, its name will be Francis.

and for the record, Francis is a perfectly fine name for a plant, a digital camera, or even a web application thank you very much.

so the other day i was looking at how all XSL transformations with Stxx are done with JAXP for the standard XML/XSL to HTML transformation or Apache FOP for the PDF and SVG transformations, while downloading the Christina Aguilera nipple video.

what are you thinking pinder? how do you feel? what's inside you right now?

{ more }

thanks for indulging me, pretentious fucker that i am.

beneath the smile,

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