You know where the fuck you are Vancouver? You in the jungle baby! Wake up, time to die!!!

I don't get excited very often, but I've been waiting since 1987!

UPDATE: There was a riot! I was there.

a prediction: within 10 years, some actress/singer will show up to the MTV awards topless. mark my words.

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.NET Framework Class Library: ThaiBuddhistCalendar Class. good for when you're building web apps for Steven Seagal.

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you know what's freaky? male porn stars who's balls look like one giant testicle.

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i saw a hot girl the other day riding a leisure bicycle, wearing super low-rider jeans. i would like to see this more often.

some books that amazon.com recommended to me based on my wishlist and browsing habits:

• Haruki Murakami and the Music of Words
• Mario Testino: Portraits
• Sex, Lies, and Headlocks: The Real Story of Vince McMahon and the World Wrestling Federation
• Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code
• The Complete Ascension Manual How to Achieve Ascension in This Lifetime
• The Curves of Life: Being an Account of Spiral Formations and Their Application to Growth in Nature, to Science, and to Art: With Special Reference

who do they think i am? some murakami reading, fashion model gazing, wrestling watching, computer programmer with a messianic complex and a penchant for geometry?

oh wait, that's exactly who i am.

sometimes when i'm walking, for a brief moment i will raise my hands out parallel to the ground, palms facing down. it signifies spinning.

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also, past brief deftone.com splash screens: 1 and 2

we went to a vancouver fringe festival play last week. however, the "real" fringe performance was outside, before the show...

deftone productions presents, tina's fringe festival production:

(click to launch)

comments

this book has been a companion for years now. i've read countless books in between, but i've taken my time with this one. the slow buildup in the first few chapters provided just the right mix of excitement and inquiry. i knew i'd come back to re-read certain passages, so i highlighted the good ones in green. the next few chapters were more than i imagined; 'youthful exuberance' is the only phrase that comes to mind. the green highlighter ran dry so i used yellow. and then came the core content. the chapters with growth and development. pink one was the last of the 3-pack of highlighters i had bought.

it's been years, but i have yet to finish this book. i have one chapter left but i can't seem to bring myself to read it. i wondered why, so i flipped back to re-read the highlighted passages. i appreciated the green highlights even more the second time, but certain words and phrases in yellow instilled the initial foundation for my uncertainty today. it wasn't the words, but the subtle implications i hadn't picked up the first time. by the time i got to the pink, the words were was overshadowed by a strange feeling of indifference and regret. why did i think this was good? why couldn't i see and understand these words then like i can now? was it that long ago?

the bulk of the book is in my left hand. read and re-read. the pages remaining my my right hand feel light. must be only 15 pages left. its taken me this long to get here, but i can't finish this. i can see the end. i can feel the end. but i won't read it. i'm putting you on the shelf. it's been too long.

so long my friend.

The first season of The Osbournes premiered in Canada last night on CTV, uncensored. You actually hear every time he says "fuck" instead of a series of bleeps. That's what's cool about Canadian TV. Enough has already been written about the show, since it did debut last year and all. That's what sucks about Canadian TV. Speaking of sucking, when will we get Tivo?

Anyways, back to Ozzy. I think he has ruined his image by doing the show. They're laughing at you Ozzy, not with you. "With you" implies they can understand what you're saying. But, aside from that, there is one reason why I instantly liked show:

Ozzy Osbourne is Mr. Burns.

It's the walk. He walks around like Mr. Burns. All decrepid and hunched over with his arms in front, bent at the elbows at his sides, and again at the wrists, fingers pointing towards the floor. Excellent.

The garage-sale edition of our Monopoly game didn't have the official rules, so we made up our own. However, the object of the game remained the same: bankrupt your opponents.

The key rule was: If you land on it, you can build on it. If you landed on St. Charles Place, and no one had taken it yet, you could buy it and build a hotel there for $750. You didn't have purchase houses before building a hotel. You did not have to collect all the same color properties before building. You could own St. Charles Place, your opponent could have Tennesse Ave. There was no renting or mortgaging of properties. We were 7 years old, we had no idea what a mortgage was. So, if an opponent landed on St. Charles Place, they didn't owe you rent, they owed you the cost of the hotel: $750. If you had 3 hotels there, they owed you $2250. Those were pretty much the only rules. You could even build hotels on the railroads for $500, but not on Water Works or Electric Company. A hotel on Water Works? That's just crazy talk.

No one built houses, only hotels. We would use Lego blocks as hotels when the plastic hotels ran out. The board usually looked like a broken castle with huge towers of Lego scattered around the perimeter.

"Oh, you landed on Indiana Ave? That's mine. Lets see..."
(counting lego blocks)
"5, 10, 15, 20, 24 hotels"
(punching in calculator)
"24 times $1,050 equals... you owe me $25,200."

And much like regular Monopoly, they had to pay you some how. We lived like kings! Damn, hell, ass kings!

I recently witnessed how the game is played under the real rules... "You landed on Baltic. That'll be $4 in rent please." Boring! What's more fun... getting $4 rent from an opponent, or getting $5000 because they landed on your Reading Railroad slum?

fact: god hates a coward, sonny.

also, how do you tell a homeless guy that the line "could you spare a quarter for a beer?" was funny a few years ago but now is so played out? it's not like he'll read this and you can't tell him to his face because, you know, i prefer not being stabbed.

a note to the people who like to point out the Pontiac Aztek every time they see one and comment about how ugly it is: yeah! i know it's ugly. everyone knows it's ugly. you don't have to say it every single time you see one. just let it go.

sick of summer.
sick of not doing what i should be doing.
sick of your voice.
sick of being inarticulate.
sick of lack of insight.
sick of automatically assuming the worst in people.
sick of waiting.

and i'm sick of being sick.

and the winner of the Dead Kennedys award for Best Band Name Ever is...

John Cougar Concentration Camp